Jokes!

Hello friends, here is some jokes hope you like them, if you have others share them with us , so let's have some fun

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ?

It would make me feel so much better."


"Sure," answered the young man.

As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk

A woman was very angry with her husband.
"I understand you have been telling people that I nag you."
"No. People tell me."
"What do you mean?"
"They tell me that you are a nag. I reply, 'Why should you need to tell me?

'"

Husband complained to his friend: "I can never keep a secret from my wife. She always knows when I lie. I do not know why a scientist invented a machine to detect lies. My wife is better than any machine.

"

Once upon a time, there were four people;

Their names were Everybody, Somebody, Nobody and Anybody. Whenever there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody got angry because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it. So consequently Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place

.

where is the police man joke !!?

I lost it A7med but take this one, and tell me what you think about it :
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

"House," in French, is feminine = "la maison."

"Pencil," in French, is masculine = "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups, appropriately enough by gender, and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1-No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2-The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3-Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4-As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

1-In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
2-They have a lot of data but they are still clueless;
3-They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4-As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

so A7med ???

I have a
joke but I think it is a dirty one








3 nuns
there were 3 nuns in the church 2 were crying 1 was laughing the preist walked
up 2 a
crying 1 and said 'why are u crying' the nun said i killed some 1 ,the priest
said go drink from the holy water so he went up 2 the 2nd crying nun and said
why are u crying she said' i stole a car' and he told her to drink from the
holy water 2 then went up 2 the laughing nun and said why are u laughing she
said' i peed in the holy water'

I have another one





A
Problem of Problems


A young couple decided to wed.

As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive.

Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each
other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.

"Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of
my marriage."

His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?"

"Oh yes, very much," he said, "but you see, I have very smelly
feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as
often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed."

Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her
mom.

"Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is
truly awful."

"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the
morning."

"No, you don't understand,. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that
my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of
bed, and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy
eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a
word until you've brushed your teeth."

"I shouldn't say good morning or anything?" the daughter asked.

"Not a word," her mother affirmed.

"Well, it's certainly worth a try," she thought.

The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had
received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they
managed quite well.

That is, until about six months later. Shortly before dawn one morning, the
husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off.

Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course,
wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, "What on earth are you
doing?"

"Oh, my," he replies, "you've swallowed my sock!"

Now take this Asma

Virus Alert!


CNN REPORTS A NEW VIRUS HAS BEEN RECENTLY DISCOVERED. ONE PERSON CAN PASS IT ON TO MILLIONS AS IT IS VERY CONTAGIOUS. THE CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL HAS REPORTED THIS WEEK THAT THE VIRUS SPREADS VERY RAPIDLY FROM ONE PERSON TO THE NEXT.THEY HAVE PUT A VERY INTERESTING NAME ON THIS VIRUS.

IT IS CALLED.......




A SMILE

@@@@@@
@@ _ _ @@
@@@ o o @@@
@@@ ^ @@@
@@@ \__/ @@@

) ( OH! OH! TOO LATE!!

I SEE IT ON YOUR FACE ALREADY!

You've got the virus!!!

ALERT! You have just been snuggled by a person that cares 4 ya!

"I wish for you..."

Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Faith so that you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth.

This is specefically offred to A7med (ettounsi)

your so luky ahmed